Gottman's Four Horsemen, Detected Message by Message
Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, stonewalling: Gottman's four horsemen predict breakup. In writing, each leaves a readable signature in the messages.
Read article →Blog — Relationship Psychology
Articles on relationship psychology, communication patterns, and conversation analysis.
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Gottman's Positive/Negative Ratio (5:1) Applied to Your Messages
Gottman showed it takes five positive interactions to offset one negative. This famous 5:1 ratio can be measured, in its way, in your message history.
Read article →Hoovering: Decoding an Ex's Win-Back Messages After a Breakup
Hoovering is when an ex resurfaces with messages right as you were healing. Decode this win-back pattern in the written history of your conversations.
Read article →Jealousy and mind reading: the cognitive distortion that poisons messages
Jealousy feeds on one precise distortion: mind reading. Crossing the two shows how certainties without proof take hold and get written down in messages.
Read article →Jealousy and Mind Reading: The Cognitive Distortion That Poisons Messages
Jealousy feeds on a precise distortion: mind reading. Crossing the two shows how proofless certainties install themselves and write themselves in messages.
Read article →The Johari Window: Blind Spots and the Unspoken in a Couple's Conversation
What I know, what you know, what we hide, what we ignore: the Johari window illuminates a couple's unspoken. Writing reveals what stays in the hidden zone.
Read article →The Karpman Triangle (Persecutor, Victim, Rescuer) in Messages
Persecutor, victim, rescuer: Karpman's drama triangle describes roles that rotate. In a couple's conversation, these roles and their shifts become readable.
Read article →Karpman: The Slide From Rescuer to Victim, Message After Message
Helping endlessly, then feeling cheated: the slide from Rescuer to Victim is a trap of the Karpman triangle. This precise shift reads in the message sequence.
Read article →Late-Night Texts: Emotional Discharges and What They Reveal
The 11 p.m. messages, rawer, more intense, sometimes regretted by morning. These late-night discharges tell a couple dynamic that timestamping brings to light.
Read article →Love Bombing, Grip Cycle, and Attachment: The Mechanics Readable in Messages
Love bombing doesn't act alone: it relies on the grip cycle and our attachment vulnerabilities. Crossing the three reveals the full mechanics in the message history.
Read article →Love Bombing: The Intensity Curve Visible From the First Messages
An avalanche of passionate messages at the very start, then the cold. Love bombing draws a characteristic intensity curve that the history of the first exchanges reveals.
Read article →Mixed Messages: Decoding the Contradictory Signals of an Ambivalent Partner
Hot then cold, 'I love you' then distance: mixed messages exhaust and disorient. Their alternation, readable in the history, says more than any single message.
Read article →Need for Validation and Self-Esteem: What Message Frequency Reveals
Waiting for a reply as proof you matter: the need for validation and self-esteem cross in our messages. The frequency and nature of the requests say a lot.
Read article →Nonviolent Communication (Rosenberg) Applied to Your Couple Messages
Observation, feeling, need, request: the four steps of Marshall Rosenberg's NVC transform couple messages. Spotting where it breaks down in your exchanges.
Read article →Orbiting: Staying in Your Orbit Without Ever Texting (Likes, Story Views)
An ex who no longer texts you but likes your posts and watches all your stories: orbiting. This presence without contact has a logic the timeline of interactions reveals.
Read article →Passive-Aggressive and Contempt: Two Gottman Signals That Overlap in Writing
The passive-aggressive disguises hostility; contempt fires it. Crossing the two shows how indirect aggression slides toward belittling — a continuum readable in messages.
Read article →Polyvagal Theory: Spotting Stress and Calm in the Rhythm of Messages
Stephen Porges's polyvagal theory illuminates our states of stress and safety. In a conversation, these states show through in the rhythm and tone of messages.
Read article →Pursuer/Distancer Power Dynamic: Measuring It in a Conversation
One pursues, the other distances: this dance, described by couple therapists, inscribes itself in the rhythm of messages. Measuring it helps leave the vicious circle.
Read article →Reading Attachment Style (Secure, Anxious, Avoidant) in Texts
Secure, anxious, avoidant: our attachment styles, framed by Bowlby and Ainsworth, show even in how we write. The history of texts reveals their signature.
Read article →The Relational Dimensions of an Analysis Report: Affection, Communication, Conflict, Commitment, Balance
A conversation analysis report isn't summed up by a score: it breaks the bond into dimensions. Here's what each measures, and why the detail beats the total.
Read article →Over 190 applied psychology articles
The Psychology and Serenity blog offers over 190 articles by Gildas Garrec, CBT psychopractitioner in Nantes. Each article draws on validated psychological models (Gottman, Young, attachment theory, CBT) to offer practical insights.
Couple Communication — Gottman’s 4 horsemen, the 5:1 ratio, stonewalling, NVC
Attachment — Anxious, avoidant, disorganized styles, path to secure attachment
Emotional Dependency — 10 signs, self-assessment tests, CBT strategies
Ghosting & Dating — Ghosting, breadcrumbing, curving, orbiting, zombieing
Manipulation — Gaslighting, coercive control, narcissistic abuse, psychological violence
Infidelity — Understanding, forgiving, trauma bonding, rebuilding
Anxiety & Stress — Relationship anxiety, burnout, rumination, insomnia
Jealousy — Pathological jealousy, retroactive, social media
Breakup & Grief — The 7 stages, no contact, relationship PTSD
Couple & Cohabitation — Moving in, arguments, libido, mental load
Parenting — Parental alienation, co-parenting, blended families
Young Schemas — 18 early schemas, cognitive distortions
Dating Apps — Mental health impact, paradox of choice, dating fatigue
Mental Health — When to consult, online therapy, CBT vs EMDR
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Our methodology: 14 validated clinical models →
Discover the models of Gottman, Young, Bowlby, Beck, Sternberg and 9 others automatically applied to your conversations.
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