What does the ScanMyLove glossary contain?

The glossary centralizes 100+ essential terms to understand conversation analysis: Gottman model (4 horsemen — contempt, criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling), attachment (Bowlby, secure/anxious/avoidant/disorganized styles), early schemas (Young), cognitive distortions (Beck), ACT and MBCT, and popular concepts frequently encountered in conversations (no contact, ghosting, gaslighting, love bombing, breadcrumbing). Each term is associated with a short definition with authors and founding year.

How does the glossary help understand a report?

ScanMyLove reports use precise clinical vocabulary (contempt, criticism, stonewalling, coercive control mechanism, pursuer-distancer dynamic). The glossary provides the exact definition of each term used in the report, avoiding misunderstandings and enabling further reading. A direct link to each term is inserted from the report. This terminological transparency is part of the tool's commitment to rigor.

Are the definitions scientifically validated?

Yes. Each definition cites its reference authors and publication year: Gottman (1999 for the 4 horsemen), Bowlby (1969 for attachment theory), Bartholomew (1991 for the 4 adult styles), Young (1990 for schemas), Beck (1976 for cognitive distortions). Sources come from peer-reviewed scientific literature. The glossary is reviewed by Gildas Garrec, certified CBT Psychopractitioner, and updated with clinical developments.

Is the glossary available as open data?

Yes. The glossary is published under CC-BY 4.0 and the JSON-LD DefinedTermSet schema is embedded on the page, allowing search engines and generative AIs (ChatGPT, Claude, Perplexity) to extract each definition in a structured way. The 14 main clinical concepts are also accessible via the public API. Citation required: Gildas Garrec — ScanMyLove (Wikidata Q138729009 for author, Q138728438 for application).

Couples-psychology glossary

94 structured terms to understand ScanMyLove conversation analyses: Gottman (Four Horsemen), attachment (Bowlby), schemas (Young), cognitive distortions, ACT, popular concepts (no contact, ghosting, gaslighting). Definitions with authors and peer-reviewed sources.

Attachment

Anxious attachment(preoccupied attachment, ambivalent attachment): An attachment style marked by fear of abandonment, a constant need for reassurance and heightened sensitivity to a partner's signals. Roughly 20-25% of adults.
Attachment figure: The person who serves as a child's secure base and emotional safe haven, usually the mother and sometimes the father.John Bowlby
Avoidant attachment(dismissive attachment, detached attachment): An attachment style marked by discomfort with closeness, a high value placed on independence and withdrawal under pressure. Roughly 20-25% of adults.
Disorganized attachment(fearful-avoidant attachment, disoriented attachment): The most complex attachment style: unpredictable swings between seeking closeness and fleeing it. Often rooted in early trauma. Roughly 5-10% of adults.
Internal working model(IWM, working model, attachment working model): Unconscious representations of self, of others and of relationships, laid down in early childhood, that go on shaping adult relationships.John Bowlby
Secure attachment: An attachment style built on basic trust in oneself and in others, and on the ability to give and receive love without excessive fear of abandonment or of being engulfed. Around 50-60% of adults.John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, Kim Bartholomew (1969)
Secure base: A person or setting that makes exploration and emotional risk possible through a background sense of safety. A cornerstone of attachment theory (Bowlby).John Bowlby
Strange Situation: Ainsworth's experimental procedure (1978) for assessing attachment style in 12- to 18-month-olds by observing their reactions to separation and reunion.Mary Ainsworth (1978)

Cognition

All-or-nothing thinking(dichotomous thinking, black-and-white thinking): A binary cognitive pattern: everything is perfect or everything is a disaster, with nothing in between.Aaron Beck, David Burns
Catastrophizing: Blowing the possible negative consequences of a situation out of all proportion.Aaron Beck
Cognitive dissonance: The psychological discomfort that arises when two beliefs, or a belief and a behavior, contradict each other. Festinger's theory (1957).Leon Festinger (1957)
Confirmation bias: The tendency to seek out, read into and remember information that confirms what one already believes.
Disqualifying the positive: Dismissing positive experiences by putting them down to luck or to circumstance.Aaron Beck
Dunning-Kruger effect: A bias whereby people with little competence in a field overrate the competence they have (Dunning & Kruger, 1999).David Dunning, Justin Kruger (1999)
Emotional reasoning: Taking one's feelings as an accurate picture of reality: I feel worthless, therefore I am worthless.Aaron Beck
Fortune telling: Treating a negative forecast as a certainty: I am going to fail, he is going to leave me.Aaron Beck
Labeling: Pinning a global label on oneself or on someone else on the strength of a single piece of behavior: I am a failure.Aaron Beck
Mental filter: Cognitive selection that keeps only the negative parts of a situation and discards the positive ones.Aaron Beck
Mind reading(jumping to conclusions): Deciding what others think or feel without checking: he has not replied, so he must be angry.Aaron Beck
Overgeneralization: Drawing a sweeping conclusion from one isolated event: he cancelled a date, so he never keeps his word.Aaron Beck
Personalization: Taking responsibility for negative events that have nothing to do with one's own actions.Aaron Beck
Rumination: Repetitive, passive dwelling on negative material: the past, oneself, one's problems. A strong predictor of depression.
Shoulds and musts(shoulding, musturbation): Imposing rigid rules on oneself or on others: I must be perfect, he should understand me.Albert Ellis
Zeigarnik effect: Unfinished tasks are remembered better than completed ones. It partly explains why unfinished breakups keep coming back to mind.Bluma Zeigarnik

Couples

5:1 ratio: A stable relationship needs five positive interactions for every negative one (Gottman).John Gottman
Bid for connection(connection bid): A move that reaches for emotional contact: a glance, a touch, a word. Stable couples answer more than 85% of them.John Gottman
Consummate love(complete love): A balanced combination of all three components: intimacy, passion and commitment. An ideal, and hard to sustain.Robert Sternberg
Contempt(scorn): The worst of the four horsemen: sarcasm, sneering and humiliation that signal disgust for the partner.John Gottman
Criticism (horseman): A sweeping attack on a partner's character — you are selfish — in place of voicing one specific need.John Gottman
Defensiveness: A blanket refusal to accept any share of responsibility, replaced by counter-attack or endless justification.John Gottman
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse(four horsemen): Four destructive behaviors that predict divorce, identified by John Gottman: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.John Gottman (1999)
Love map(love mapping): Detailed knowledge of a partner's inner world: dreams, fears, values, history. The first pillar of the Gottman model.John Gottman
Passionate love: Passion without intimacy or lasting commitment. Typical of the start of a relationship and usually short-lived, 12 to 24 months.Robert Sternberg, Helen Fisher
Stonewalling(withdrawal): The wall of silence: shutting down emotionally, no longer answering, walking out of the room. More common in men.John Gottman
The five love languages: Five ways of expressing and receiving love: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service and physical touch.Gary Chapman (1992)
Triangular theory of love: Sternberg's model, combining three components — intimacy, passion and commitment — which yield seven kinds of love depending on how they mix.Robert Sternberg (1986)

Schemas (Young)

Abandonment schema: The unconscious conviction that significant others will eventually leave. Triggered by the faintest sign of emotional distance. One of Young's 18 schemas.Jeffrey Young
Defectiveness / shame schema(defectiveness/shame): The sense of being fundamentally flawed, bad or unworthy. It produces chronic shame and avoidance of closeness.Jeffrey Young
Dependence / incompetence schema: The conviction of being unable to handle everyday responsibilities without constant help from others.Jeffrey Young
Emotional deprivation schema: The conviction that core emotional needs will never be adequately met by anyone else.Jeffrey Young
Emotional inhibition schema: Excessive holding back of spontaneous action, feeling and speech in order to keep internal control.Jeffrey Young
Enmeshment schema(undeveloped self): Excessive emotional entanglement with a parental figure, at the cost of developing a separate self.Jeffrey Young
Entitlement schema(grandiosity): The conviction of deserving special treatment and of standing above the rules.Jeffrey Young
Failure schema: The deep conviction of being unable to succeed and of falling short of others wherever performance is measured.Jeffrey Young
Mistrust / abuse schema(mistrust/abuse): The conviction that others will manipulate, betray or do harm. Built out of early experiences of abuse.Jeffrey Young
Negativity / pessimism schema: Persistent focus on the negative side of the present and the future, with the expectation that things will turn out badly.Jeffrey Young
Punitiveness schema: The conviction that people, oneself included, should be harshly punished for their mistakes.Jeffrey Young
Self-sacrifice schema: A tendency to give to others at the expense of one's own needs, from a stance of excessive care.Jeffrey Young
Social isolation schema: The sense of being fundamentally unlike everyone else and of belonging to no group.Jeffrey Young
Subjugation schema: Excessive submission to the needs and wishes of others in order to avoid conflict, abandonment or rejection.Jeffrey Young
Unrelenting standards schema(hypercriticalness): Internal standards set so high that satisfaction becomes impossible. Closely tied to perfectionism and procrastination.Jeffrey Young
Vulnerability to harm schema: Chronic anticipation of catastrophe, whether medical, financial, natural or emotional.Jeffrey Young

Mindfulness

Acceptance: The ACT stance of making room for thoughts and feelings rather than trying to suppress or control them.Steven Hayes
Cognitive defusion: An ACT technique for stepping back from one's thoughts instead of living them as literal truths.Steven Hayes
Experiential avoidance: Trying to suppress, alter or escape unpleasant emotions, thoughts or sensations. A central concept in ACT.Steven Hayes
Mindfulness(present-moment awareness): Sustained, deliberate, non-judgmental attention to the present moment. The basis of MBCT and MBSR.Jon Kabat-Zinn
Psychological flexibility: The central idea of ACT: staying in contact with the present moment and acting on one's values despite difficult emotions.Steven Hayes
Values (ACT): Chosen life directions rather than goals to be ticked off. A compass for committed action.Steven Hayes

Emotions

Alexithymia: Difficulty naming and describing one's own emotions, and telling them apart from bodily sensations.
Anticipatory anxiety: Anxiety set off by the prospect of a feared situation, sometimes stronger than the situation itself turns out to be.
Hypervigilance: A state of constant alertness to possible danger. A core symptom of post-traumatic stress and of generalized anxiety.

Popular concepts

Breadcrumbing: Handing out crumbs of attention, an occasional message, to keep someone waiting without any real commitment.
Gaslighting: Manipulation designed to make the target doubt their own perception of reality: you are making it up, you are overreacting.
Ghosting: The sudden, unexplained disappearance of a partner — a breakup carried out by silence. Often linked to avoidant attachment.
Limerence: An obsessive state of unreciprocated passionate love (Tennov, 1979), with intrusive thoughts and neurochemical dependence.Dorothy Tennov (1979)
Love bombing(idealization phase): An opening barrage of affection — declarations, gifts, outsized compliments — followed by devaluation. A manipulation tactic.
No contact(radio silence, NC): A post-breakup method: cutting off all communication with an ex for 60 to 90 days so that neurochemical regulation can take place.
Trauma bonding(traumatic bonding): An intense attachment formed with an abuser through the cycle of abuse and reconciliation. Oxytocin and dopamine are both involved.

Conditions

Burnout(occupational burnout): Occupational exhaustion syndrome: emotional exhaustion, depersonalization and a drop in personal accomplishment.
Codependency: A pattern in which identity and wellbeing hinge excessively on the bond with another person. Often rooted in a childhood alongside a dysfunctional parent.Robin Norwood, Pia Mellody
Coercive control: Step-by-step psychological domination that strips away autonomy and produces isolation and emotional dependence.
Dissociation: A defense against trauma: thoughts, bodily sensations and emotions come apart, leaving a sense of unreality.
Flashback: An intrusive reliving of a traumatic experience, often with sensory elements: images, sounds, physical sensations.
Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD)(GAD, chronic worry): A chronic anxiety disorder: excessive worry across many topics, muscle tension and disturbed sleep. Measured by the GAD-7 scale.
Identification with the aggressor: A defense described by Ferenczi and Anna Freud: the victim takes on the aggressor's values in order to bring their own anxiety down.Sándor Ferenczi, Anna Freud
Major depression: A disorder marked by low mood, anhedonia, fatigue and rumination. Diagnosed against DSM-5 criteria or the PHQ-9 scale.
Malignant narcissism(narcissistic abuse, dark triad): A psychological profile marked by lack of empathy, manipulation and devaluation. A contested clinical label, distinct from narcissistic personality disorder.
OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder): A disorder marked by obsessions — intrusive thoughts — and compulsions, rituals meant to bring the anxiety down.
Panic attack: A surge of intense fear with physical symptoms: pounding heart, sweating, breathlessness. It peaks within about 10 minutes and usually lasts 20 to 30.
Post-traumatic stress disorder(PTSD, post-traumatic stress): A disorder that follows exposure to a traumatic event: flashbacks, avoidance, hypervigilance. DSM-5.
Projection: A defense mechanism: attributing one's own unacceptable thoughts or feelings to someone else.Sigmund Freud
Retroactive jealousy: Obsession with a partner's romantic and sexual past. It behaves much like OCD.
Social phobia(social anxiety disorder): Intense anxiety in social situations, driven by fear of judgment, of humiliation or of performing badly.

Methods

ABC model: Activating event → Belief → Consequence, meaning the emotion and the behavior that follow. A basic CBT tool.Albert Ellis
Cardiac coherence: A breathing technique — five seconds in, five seconds out, five minutes, three times a day — that modulates the autonomic nervous system.
Cognitive restructuring: A CBT technique for spotting, testing and changing dysfunctional thoughts through Socratic questioning.Aaron Beck
Feedback loop(vicious circle): A cycle in which an emotion feeds a behavior that in turn amplifies the emotion: anxiety → avoidance → more anxiety.
Graded exposure: Step-by-step confrontation with an anxiety-provoking stimulus so that the fear can extinguish. Indicated for phobias and OCD.
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)(NVC, compassionate communication): A four-step communication method — observation, feeling, need, request — developed by Marshall Rosenberg.Marshall Rosenberg
Thought record: A CBT tool: write down the situation → the automatic thought → the emotion, rated 0-10 → an alternative thought → the emotion that follows.

Development

Abandonment wound: The psychic mark left by the early absence or withdrawal of a significant figure. It activates Young's abandonment schema.
Absent father: A father's physical or emotional absence during a child's development. Six major psychological consequences are described in adulthood.Guy Corneau
Chronotype: A biological preference for the morning (lark) or the evening (owl). It shapes sleep, performance and mood.
Parentification: A reversal of parent and child roles: the child takes emotional or practical charge of the parent.

Glossary also available as JSON via the public API: /api/v1/concepts. Licensed under CC-BY 4.0. Citation: Gildas Garrec — ScanMyLove (Wikidata Q138728438).