De-disclosure: when social penetration reverses in your messages
As a CBT psychotherapist, I often see how relational dynamics show up long before anything is said out loud, through subtle signals.
Read article →Blog — Relationship Psychology
Articles on relationship psychology, communication patterns, and conversation analysis.
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Fading Love Maps and Emotional Distance: Knowledge Eroding in Messages
When questions disappear from your messages, mutual knowledge erodes. How the decline of love maps becomes readable, and how to rebuild it.
Read article →Ignored Bids and Fading Affection: The Gottman Build-Up in Your Messages
No crisis, no betrayal — just slow erosion. How ignored bids for connection show up in your messages, and how to reverse the pattern.
Read article →Intermittent reinforcement and breadcrumbing, read in your messages
In the complexity of human relationships, insidious mechanisms can take hold, trapping us in cycles of waiting and disappointment.
Read article →Neuroticism and Escalation: How One Trait Fuels Text Conflict
Neuroticism, one of the Big Five traits, amplifies conflict in written exchanges. How it becomes readable in a couple's message timeline.
Read article →Avoidant Attachment and Dry Texting: Disengagement, Message by Message
Dry texting is rarely a bad mood. Read across months of messages and a pattern of avoidant withdrawal appears, timestamped and undeniable.
Read article →Social Penetration: Reading Disclosure Depth in Your Messages
Altman and Taylor's layers of disclosure are legible in a message timeline. How to spot depth, stagnation and broken reciprocity in your conversations.
Read article →Knapp's Model: Spotting Relationship Stages in Your Texts
Knapp's ten stages, from initiating to termination, are legible in a message timeline. How to read the rise and the unravelling in your conversations.
Read article →Pennebaker's Markers: What 'I' and 'We' Reveal in Texts
James Pennebaker showed that pronouns betray a couple's dynamic. What the balance of 'I' and 'we' reveals in your written conversations.
Read article →Transactional Analysis: Parent, Adult and Child in Your Texts
Berne's ego states are visible in writing. Learn to spot Parent, Adult and Child in your texts and rebalance your transactions.
Read article →Chapman's 5 Apology Languages in Couple Text Messages
Chapman's 5 apology languages read through the lens of toxic relationships: how a written apology can become a tool of control rather than repair.
Read article →Gottman's Love Maps: Measuring Mutual Knowledge in Messages
Love maps are not built in declarations of love, but message after message. Here is how written analysis reveals what conversation hides.
Read article →Gottman's Emotional Flooding: When a Text Argument Spirals
You reread your WhatsApp exchanges and feel that gradual build-up: messages get shorter, sharper, then explosive. That is emotional flooding.
Read article →Gottman Repair Attempts: Spotting Olive Branches in Texts
A written argument between two people who love each other rarely ends in permanent silence. After the sting comes a pause, and then a repair attempt.
Read article →Gottman's Bids for Connection: Accepted or Ignored in Texts
We have all received that message with a funny meme, or that quiet request to talk. Gottman calls them bids for connection - and your texts record them.
Read article →Thomas-Kilmann: spot your conflict style in your messages
You argue by text message. Your partner asks whether you can just move on. What you write back reveals your conflict management style.
Read article →Rusbult's Investment Model Read in a Couple's Conversation
Satisfaction, alternatives, investment: how Caryl Rusbult's investment model can be read in the written conversations of a couple.
Read article →Big Five: Reading the Five Traits in Your Message Style
As a CBT psychotherapist and founder of Psychologie et Serenite, I work with many couples who want to understand each other and communicate better.
Read article →Paperclipping: When an Ex Keeps Resurfacing in Your Messages
You had accepted the break-up. You had even started to move on. Then, without warning, a message arrives: Hey, how are you? I was thinking about you.
Read article →Idealisation Then Devaluation: A Cycle Written in Messages
You reread your old messages and no longer recognise them. Constant compliments and shared dreams at first, then the tone gradually changed.
Read article →Over 190 applied psychology articles
The Psychology and Serenity blog offers over 190 articles by Gildas Garrec, CBT practitioner in Nantes. Each article draws on validated psychological models (Gottman, Young, attachment theory, CBT) to offer practical insights.
Couple Communication — Gottman’s 4 horsemen, the 5:1 ratio, stonewalling, NVC
Attachment — Anxious, avoidant, disorganized styles, path to secure attachment
Emotional Dependency — 10 signs, self-assessment tests, CBT strategies
Ghosting & Dating — Ghosting, breadcrumbing, curving, orbiting, zombieing
Manipulation — Gaslighting, coercive control, narcissistic abuse, psychological violence
Infidelity — Understanding, forgiving, trauma bonding, rebuilding
Anxiety & Stress — Relationship anxiety, burnout, rumination, insomnia
Jealousy — Pathological jealousy, retroactive, social media
Breakup & Grief — The 7 stages, no contact, relationship PTSD
Couple & Cohabitation — Moving in, arguments, libido, mental load
Parenting — Parental alienation, co-parenting, blended families
Young Schemas — 18 early schemas, cognitive distortions
Dating Apps — Mental health impact, paradox of choice, dating fatigue
Mental Health — When to consult, online therapy, CBT vs EMDR
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Our methodology: 14 validated clinical models →
Explore the models of Gottman, Young, Bowlby, Beck, Sternberg and 9 others automatically applied to your conversations.
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