Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of Love
Intimacy, Passion, Commitment
Robert Sternberg (1986, Psychological Review) proposed that love is built from three components — intimacy (closeness), passion (attraction and desire) and commitment (the decision to maintain the relationship). Their combinations produce seven love types (e.g. romantic love = intimacy + passion; companionate love = intimacy + commitment; consummate love = all three). ScanMyLove estimates the balance of the three components from your conversation and identifies which type your relationship resembles.
What ScanMyLove measures:
Intimacy/passion/commitment balance, love type.
Understanding the model
Robert Sternberg (1986, Psychological Review) proposed that love combines three components: intimacy (emotional closeness), passion (attraction and desire) and commitment (the decision to stay). Their combinations yield seven love types — from infatuation (passion only) to consummate love (all three).
The three components of love
| Component | What it is | Signals in messages |
|---|---|---|
| Intimacy | Closeness, warmth, disclosure | Sharing feelings, support, "us" language |
| Passion | Attraction, desire, romance | Flirtation, longing, physical references |
| Commitment | Decision to maintain the bond | Future plans, reliability, reassurance |
How ScanMyLove applies it
ScanMyLove estimates the weight of each component in your conversation — warmth and disclosure (intimacy), desire and flirtation (passion), future plans and reliability (commitment) — and maps your relationship to a love type.
What the report reveals
A report might show high intimacy and commitment but fading passion (companionate love), with the messages that mark the shift — useful for naming what to rekindle.
Frequently asked questions
What are the seven types of love?
From the three components: friendship/liking (intimacy), infatuation (passion), empty love (commitment), romantic love (intimacy + passion), companionate love (intimacy + commitment), fatuous love (passion + commitment) and consummate love (all three).
Is consummate love permanent?
Sternberg notes it is hard to sustain; passion in particular fluctuates. Long-term couples often move between romantic and companionate love.
Can ScanMyLove measure love?
It estimates the balance of the three components from how you communicate. It is an indication of your relationship’s shape, not a clinical measurement.
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