What does a report say when everything's going well?
What solid couples do in their messages
Our exchanges are healthy — what does that look like from the outside?
What solid couples do in their messages: they repair quickly, turn toward each other in the small moments, and work through disagreements without contempt.
- →Why this relationship holds — and what makes it reproducible.
- →The exact reflexes that protect the couple (repair, turning toward the other).
- →Where to stay watchful even when everything is going well.
Conversation statistics
Message distribution
Evolution over time
Activity by hour
Activity by day
Heat map
Activity by day and hour
Expressions from Lina
Most frequent bigrams and trigrams
Expressions from Adam
Most frequent bigrams and trigrams
Most used words by Lina
Most used words by Adam
Favourite emojis of Lina
Favourite emojis of Adam
The relationship analysis
What solid couples do in their messages: they repair quickly, turn toward each other in the small moments, and work through disagreements without contempt. Nothing spectacular — a quiet, mutual security that the report makes visible and measurable.
What the messages reveal
Reconstructed excerpts — the report reads each exchange and highlights the underlying pattern.
Relational dimensions
Attachment profile
Gottman’s 4 Horsemen
The lower the score, the better. Above 50 = warning signal.
Cognitive distortions
Thinking biases detected in the conversation
Cognitive distortions (Aaron Beck) are automatic thinking biases that warp our perception of relational reality. A high score indicates a more pronounced presence of this bias.
Pursuer / withdrawer dynamic
Who pursues the exchange vs who withdraws
Balance: Balanced
The in-depth analysis
Sternberg’s Triangle
The 3 components of love according to triangular theory.
According to Robert Sternberg, complete love rests on three pillars: intimacy (emotional), passion (physical/romantic) and commitment (decisional). The balance between these three components defines the type of relationship.
The combination of intimacy 82, passion 55 and commitment 84 outlines a "consummate love" profile. The three pillars support one another: this is what gives the relationship its stability.
5 Love Languages
Predominant love languages of each person (Chapman).
Gary Chapman identifies 5 love languages: words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time and physical touch. Knowing each partner’s dominant language improves mutual understanding.
Gap: Lina and Adam express affection through similar channels: one person's gestures are "read" by the other, which limits misunderstandings.
Identifying the language actually received (rather than the one we spontaneously give) prevents the feeling of "giving without being loved in return."
Detected breakpoints
Key moments where the dynamic shifted
The emotional timeline pinpoints the key moments where the relational dynamic shifted significantly: conflicts, distancing, reconnections.
A disagreement over organization escalates a notch — then spontaneous apologies and a return to calm within the day.
Misunderstanding over an unspoken expectation: named, heard, repaired without resentment.
Relationship prognosis
Favorable
Positive factors
- + Positive/negative ratio at 6.8 (well above the healthy threshold of 5)
- + Near-zero contempt (8) — the single best predictor of durability
- + Quick repairs after disagreement
Risk factors
- - Gentle vigilance: don't take security for granted
- - Keep naming needs even when everything's going well
Nonviolent Communication
NVC Score (Rosenberg): use of OFNR format vs judgment/blame.
Nonviolent Communication (Marshall Rosenberg) assesses the ability to express one’s needs and emotions without aggression or judgment. A high score indicates more empathetic communication.
Examples
« When you let me know you'll be home late, I worry less — thank you. »
Observation + positive impact: reinforces the desired behavior without demanding.
« I would have liked us to talk about it first; I felt presented with a fait accompli. »
Expresses the feeling and the need for consultation without attacking the person.
Both often manage to connect fact, emotion and need — this is what allows tensions to be defused before they escalate.
DISC Profile
Dominant communication style of each person.
The DISC model (W. Marston) classifies behaviors along 4 axes: Dominant (Red — results-oriented), Influential (Yellow — relationship-oriented), Steady (Green — cooperation-oriented) and Conscientious (Blue — precision-oriented). Each has distinct motivations and communication styles.
Lina and Adam do not share the same communication style (couple's communication: 80/100). Neither good nor bad — the challenge is to translate from one style to the other: a direct profile gains from slowing down, a relational profile from daring to be explicit.
Karpman’s Triangle
Dominant roles in the relational dynamic (Transactional Analysis).
Karpman’s drama triangle identifies three dysfunctional relational roles: Persecutor, Victim and Rescuer. A high score on a role indicates a tendency to adopt it during conflicts.
For Lina and Adam, the victim/rescuer/persecutor roles stay occasional and faint: the relationship is not organized around the drama triangle.
Johari Window
Zones of self-knowledge and knowledge of the other in the relationship.
The Johari window (Luft & Ingham) maps 4 zones of self-knowledge: open (known to all), blind (seen by the other but not by oneself), hidden (known to oneself but not shared) and unknown.
Lina
Adam
For Lina as for Adam, enlarging the "open" area — saying what one feels, asking for feedback — mechanically reduces the misunderstandings of the blind and hidden areas.
FIRO by Schutz
Fundamental relationship needs: expressed vs desired.
Schutz’s FIRO model measures three fundamental interpersonal needs: Inclusion (need to belong), Control (need for power) and Affection (need for closeness), each in an expressed and a wanted version.
Lina
Adam
For Lina and Adam, the gap between what each one EXPRESSES and what they DESIRE is the real source of frustration: Lina waits for an initiative that he/she never openly asks for, while the other does not perceive the need.
Polyvagal Theory
Dominant autonomic nervous system activation state in exchanges (Porges).
Polyvagal theory (S. Porges) distinguishes three states of the nervous system: ventral (connection and safety), sympathetic (fight/flight) and dorsal (freeze/shutdown). These states deeply influence communication within a couple.
Both spend most of their time in a "ventral" state (safety): this is the state where dialogue and repair are possible.
Young Schemas
Early maladaptive schemas influence your relational behaviours.
Early maladaptive schemas (Jeffrey Young) are deep emotional patterns formed in childhood that influence our adult relationships. A high score indicates a stronger activation of the schema.
| Schema | Lina | Adam |
|---|---|---|
| Disconnection & Rejection | ||
| Abandonment / instability | 21 | 15 |
| Mistrust / abuse | 9 | 5 |
| Emotional deprivation | 13 | 17 |
| Defectiveness / shame | 12 | 9 |
| Impaired Autonomy | ||
| Impaired Limits | ||
| Insufficient self-control | 0 | 1 |
| Other-Directedness | ||
| Subjugation | 17 | 0 |
| Approval-seeking | 18 | 11 |
| Overvigilance | ||
| Emotional inhibition | 10 | 19 |
Personalised action plan
Therapeutic exercises tailored to your relational profile.
This action plan offers progressive exercises, at your own pace, to reinforce your strengths and work on the areas for improvement that were identified.
Maintain what works
Weeks 1-2Connection ritual
DailyKeep the daily touchpoint that already works (morning coffee, evening message), without taking it for granted.
Positive review
WeeklyEach week, Lina and Adam name one thing the other did that mattered.
Repair even faster
Weeks 3-4The repair gesture
As neededAfter friction, a sign agreed in advance (a word, a gesture) to defuse things before they escalate.
Keep voicing needs
Weeks 5-6Open question
Weekly"What do you need right now?" — ask the question even when everything is going well.
Celebrate
Weeks 7-8Mark the positive
MonthlyTake the time to say explicitly what is working, rather than only talking about the problems.
Strengths
- ✓Positive/negative ratio at 6.8 (well above the healthy threshold of 5)
- ✓Near-zero contempt (8) — the single best predictor of durability
- ✓Quick repairs after disagreement
- ✓Two secure attachments that answer each other
Points to watch
- !Gentle vigilance: don't take security for granted
- !Keep naming needs even when everything's going well
What the report answers
What does the attachment style reveal in this case?
Two secure profiles (78 and 80): neither pursuit nor withdrawal. Closeness is comfortable for both — the quiet foundation that makes everything else simpler.
What red flags does the report detect?
Gentle vigilance: don't take security for granted Keep naming needs even when everything's going well
What do the score and communication dynamic say?
This is what a solid couple looks like through the report: contempt at 8, positive/negative ratio at 6.8. In Gottman's research, that's exactly the combination that predicts durability — plenty of positive, almost zero contempt.
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